We are like you: just people. When we got married, we didn’t have any clue the struggles that loomed ahead of us. We didn’t expect them to be intellectual. We expected financial ups and downs, disagreements about priorities, emotional hiccups, and perhaps a disappointment or two. You know: normal things.
Of course we had those too, but underneath all of that was a tension rife with mistrust. Just to name a few of our percolating conflicts: vaccination, conspiracy theories, “clean” eating and the organic movement. Each of these was so volatile, we avoided talking about them for many years. We had other, more pressing, issues to work through then. We were in survival mode. Each of us felt isolated. It was an ugly dance.
In about 2014 after our second child was born, we decided to begin working on the remaining issues. We went to therapy. We tried to mend seven-plus years of hurt and abandonment. Thinking we’d done a good job, we added another bundle of joy to our family in 2017. After that, it kind of exploded. We weren’t sleeping as well, so we began fighting more.
In one of the low points, we decided we had to put the discussions on a schedule. So we did. We began talking through things at a set time every week, and “letting live” the rest of the time. You’ll have to read more of the blog to know how the story ends. (In truth, it doesn’t end. That’s the happy part. We’re still together…)
Only because we were brave enough to unlearn what was wrong, to embrace what was right, and to write a new story for ourselves: a story of growth, resilience, and change. We hope you’ll join us by sharing your story in the comments or by contacting us. We hope, through patience and persistence, you’ll be able to realize the miracle of togetherness in your relationships.
Read our His & Hers Backstories to learn the details of our struggles.